just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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