also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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