She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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