Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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