my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
