Dual....:-)
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
