Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
