The maid of honor just puked.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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