All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
