If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
