She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
