I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
