Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
