You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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