is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
