Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize