WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
