The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
