Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
