I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
