Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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