they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
