How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
