Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
