I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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