the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
