Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
