At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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