I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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