oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
