How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
