you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
