New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
