3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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