eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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