I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
