You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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