dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
