We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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