You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
