Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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