in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize