Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
