Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
