ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
