yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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