I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
