I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
