sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
