Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
