Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
