He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
