A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
