the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
