I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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