That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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