last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
