i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
