In the future we'll all be gay
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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