he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how does that bad decision feel?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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