people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
