Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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