Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
