it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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