i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
