Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
