We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
