omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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